Don’t call it a comeback…
“Don’t call it a comeback / I’ve been here for years,” LL Cool J, Momma Said Knock You Out
Part of the human experience includes facing challenges - this infamous song introduction is a reminder of the confidence that you can have based on what you’ve already overcome. When you feel self doubt, inadequate, or start to believe that the haters are right, challenge those thoughts by recognizing the resilience you’ve shown to get to this point. Don’t call it a comeback - you’ve been here for years.
If you recognized the lyrics at the top of my About Me page, you likely recognized the song that it came from - LL Cool J’s Momma Said Knock You Out. I promise that my mother didn't tell me to knock you out; so why did I include the quote at all?
Possible NSFW Language Warning
LL Cool J’s album Walking with a Panther released in 1989 and was a commercial success (including the hit I’m Going Back to Cali among others). And yet the album was simultaneously criticized within the hip hop community - while gangsta rap was rising in popularity, some listeners believed that this album showed LL was out of touch with the hip hop culture. Regarding this backlash, his grandmother encouraged him, “Oh, baby, just knock them out!” (p. 127 per LL Cool J’s book I Make My Own Rules) which became the inspiration for the soon to be recorded Momma Said Knock You Out.
In the first lines of the song, LL Cool J bellows, “Don’t call it a comeback / I’ve been here for years.” This infamous introduction communicates confidence rather than arrogance. Sometimes when you hear a negative message about yourself enough, or if you start to think a negative idea about yourself enough, you can personalize it as an internal narrative. With these two lines, LL Cool J demonstrates how to challenge imposter ideas (also known as cognitive distortions) with evidence. Rather than entertaining a thought distortion or personalizing the criticism he received, he reminds himself (and the listener) of his experience as a means to boost our confidence.
Being human means experiencing challenges, and facing those challenges is evidence of human resilience. You’ve persevered through life experiences to get to today. Don’t call it a comeback - you’ve been here for years.
Therapy is a great way to get feedback and support when dealing with your own thoughts - a good therapist can help you to identify thinking patterns that impact the way you feel, they can provide support, and they can teach skill building to cope with such thoughts should they occur again. Some practical tips on how you can start challenging cognitive distortions and “knock them out:”
Identify the problematic thought or thoughts. The therapy word for these is cognitive distortions If there are more than one, separate them individually and make a list.
Consider each distortion on the list and evaluate evidence for each. What about evidence that contradicts the distortion?
Knock it out. Using the evidence that contradicts each distortion (that you identified in Step 2), write out an alternative thought for each distortion. Remind yourself of this alternative thought if the distortion occurs again.
If this post resonated with you and you’d like to learn more about working together in therapy feel free to reach out by clicking the button below. My name is Kevin - I’m a therapist (Licensed Clinical Social Worker) with 10+ years’ experience. I’m a hip hop head, an aspiring baker, and a National Parks enthusiast. I specialize in solution-focused and trauma-informed care, often using cognitive-behavioral strategies during therapy. I get joy in collaborating with clients as they process the past, embrace the present, and create their futures.
