Haters are Gonna Hate - Some Tips to Help you Handle it
“Yesterday somebody whacked out my mural / that energy’ll make you […] move to Europe. But it’s regular for me, yeah that’s for sure / the love and hate is definite without a cure,” Kendrick Lamar, wacced out murals
Have you ever done something that you were really proud of, only to have someone attempt to discredit it? Maybe you earned a promotion and, instead of being happy for you, a colleague responded with something like, “must be nice to get a cushy title for doing so little work.” Or maybe you’re getting shredded per your new year’s resolution, and instead of being proud of you, a friend says, “you’re lucky you’ve got a fast metabolism.” Or maybe you’re breaking a familial cycle of alcoholism and mom still reminds you that, “you’ll always be just like your dad.”
If you’ve ever had a hater hate and then have had difficulty coping with it, Kendrick Lamar relates to your experience on the introductory track to GNX, released in 2024. Arguably one of the most prolific hip hop artists alive, he’s has received a number accolades for his work throughout his career, including 17 Grammy Awards, a Primetime Emmy Award, a Brit Award, four American Music Awards, six Billboard Music Awards, 11 MTV Video Music Awards (including two Video of the Year wins) and 37 BET Hip Hop Awards (the most won by any artist) (view full list of accolades here).
More recently, he asserted his dominance in rap by obliterating Drake during their infamous beef of last year, ending in the resounding conclusion of Not Like Us. Shortly following, Kendrick was selected to perform at the Super Bowl Halftime Show in February 2025. And despite his accomplishments as an artist and musician, someone still went out of their way to wack out a mural made to honor his artistry, a story cited on the song wacced out murals. Haters are going to hate, even if you’re Kendrick Lamar.
Tips to Deal with Haters Hating, from Kendrick Lamar’s wacced out murals:
Don’t Give Up: When Kendrick sings “that kind of energy make you [...] move to Europe,” he acknowledges that sometimes hate makes people run away or quit. He also recognizes that the hate coincides with his success, “it's regular for me, yeah, that's for sure.” Don’t quit, don’t give up, haters unfortunately follow success.
Don’t sit alone with it: Early in the song, Kendrick notes that “the love and hate is definite without a cure.” As long as you continue to push yourself to grow, to create, and to change, haters are going to hate. But people will love what you do too. Instead of sitting with feedback from the haters, reach out to your supporters and give your attention to the love instead.
Don’t Act on Your Immediate Reaction: In response to his mural being wacked out, Kendrick sings, “F*** everybody, that’s on my body. My blick first, then God got me.” Have you ever had that kind of a reaction, like a “just screw everything” in response to receiving hate? Have you ever been angry about it and want to lash out? Rather than acting out on his gut response, Kendrick refocuses, and uses the hate as motivation.
Use it as Motivation: Rarely do people who are already doing the thing, criticize someone else for getting started. Everyone’s gotta start somewhere. More often hate seems to stem from a place of judgement or a jealous response to your success and growth. Take the hate as a sign of growth and keep pushing. Kendrick says of the hate that, “it’s motivation if you’re wondering how I did it,” clarifying that the hate was part of his own motivation to record and release the music. Also note that thematically, this song kicks off Kendrick’s GNX album - the album starts by referencing the hate and what follows is a beautiful work of music.
Ignore the Hate and Focus on You: Choose not to give attention to the comment, “go and up your rank / Know you a god even when they say you ain't.” You cannot control the way other people respond to what you do - you can only control yourself.
Use it to Find Inspiration: Rarely does the hate come from someone doing it better than you - more often it comes from someone who’s not doing it at all. Focus on your craft and find inspiration in someone with a similar work ethic, “keep your head down and work like I do, but understand, everybody ain't gon' like you.” Maybe you’re not a rapper, but maybe a painter. Who’s another artist with a work ethic that you can aspire to? Or if you’re a VP, who is another leader whose leadership skills you can learn from?
Talk to Them: If the hate comes from someone you’re close to, it may be worth letting them know how their words affected you. Reach out, be assertive, and stand up for yourself. Give them a chance to clarify themselves or apologize and make your relationship right. Kendrick does this in song by referencing recent reactions received from Lil Wayne, Nas, and Snoop.
Find Humor in It: Per Kendrick’s song, he’d grown up a fan of Lil Wayne’s music, but “the irony, I think my hard work let Lil Waye down.” He even jokes the Snoop may have reposted Drake’s music on accident because he was high - don’t take hate too seriously and find humor in it if it helps you cope.
Take Constructive Criticism from People Worth Receiving it From: Don’t get hate and constructive criticism confused because of your own defensiveness. If someone with expertise or with relational credibility in your life offers feedback, practice trusting their intention and being open to it. A random negative Youtube comment should have less impact than an accomplished creator whose feedback is to help you get better. Per the song, Kendrick recognizes that Nas is in his corner and therefore may be more open to receiving feedback from him.
How Future Full of Hope Can Help
It’s not easy to handle hate. Sometimes the criticism strikes a little too close to home to negative thoughts that you already think about yourself. Sometimes the voice of hate comes from the inside instead of outside of you. Or maybe you’re discouraged and not sure how to move forward. If you’re having difficulty responding to hate you’re receiving in your own life, choosing to participate in therapy with Future Full of Hope can help. We join our clients to develop new responses to hate, to learn how to tune out the negative voices and amplify the supportive ones, and to get unstuck in the creative process. Follow the link below to get started today.
AI Disclaimer: This post is original and written by Kevin Boyd of Future Full of Hope, PLLC. No AI tool was leveraged to write this post
