Coping with Fear of Public Speaking
“His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy / there’s vomit on his sweater already - Mom’s spaghetti / He’s nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready / to drop bombs, but he keeps on forgetting / what he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud / he opens his mouth but words won’t come out / He’s choking, how? Everybody’s joking now / The clock’s run out, time’s up over blaow / snap back to reality…” Eminem, Lose Yourself
Reality is that, for many people, speaking publicly is terrifying. I love Eminem’s opening few bars on Lose Yourself as expression of public speaking anxiety. I can relate - sometimes my palms get sweaty when I get up in front of people to talk. I notice the nerves and shakiness in my hands and my legs. And thankfully, while I don’t go as far as avoiding spaghetti before presenting, anecdotally there are skills that I’ve learned in preparing to speak which have aided me in my own growth as a speaker and frameworks that I’ve taught clients in therapy which have helped them to conquer their fears of public speaking.
Do you get nervous when you speak in front of an audience? You’re not alone with that anxiety! According to NBC News, fear of public speaking, or glossophobia, is estimated to affect 75 percent of adults. According to Forbes, 10 percent are genuinely terrified - those are the people who are physically debilitated by even the thought of public speaking. And in 2017, a study conducted with college students found approximately 64% of undergraduates reported fear of public speaking. Thankfully, there are things that you can do to learn cope with your fear of public speaking.
Part of why public speaking can be terrifying is because being good at it requires being vulnerable from the platform. There’s the physical vulnerability when having all eyes on you, and there’s also an opportunity to exercises vulnerability in your content in order to connect with the listener. Consider Eminem’s hit single Lose Yourself which inspired today’s post. With the opening lines, Eminem sings about his own anxiety as it relates to performing in front of the crowd. It’s an act of vulnerability - that’s why Eminem’s song, which was released 22 years ago at the date of this blog, believe it for not - connects so well to the audience.
Even if the speaker does not directly disclose information about themselves, they are still putting themselves in a position to be viewed, reviewed, and either judged, admired or ignored. Everything being recorded within the internet culture also seems to put more pressure than even when Eminem wrote his classic. So how do you cope with anxiety related to public speaking? Check our some of our suggestions below!
Strategies to cope with Fear of Public Speaking:
Practice & Prepare:
Prepare ahead of time. Maybe this means becoming more familiar with the subject matter of the talk. Or checking out the office/stage/venue/platform ahead of time to get more familiar with the physical space.
Practice, practice, practice. Practice in front of the mirror. Practice in front of a support friend or loved one! What do you like about your speaking style? What are parts of your speech that you want to improve on? Just like any other skill, practicing helps develop competence
Record Yourself for feedback - it’s better to know exactly how you present than try to operate on your assumption of your presentation looks like. Record yourself speaking so that you have a way to comparing your starting point. Video + audio can help give you a more full picture of your style, but even an audio recording gives you a chance to pay attention to pacing, tone, volume among other aspects.
It’s easier to communicate when you actually believe what you are saying. I don’t know about you, but my favorite communicators are people who deliver a message, and deliver it in such a manner, that it inspires / motivates / challenges me. When I can tell that they care about what they’re sharing. Researchers found that the top 10% of authentic speakers were considered to be 1.3 times more trustworthy and 1.3 times more persuasive than the average communicator. Be more authentic in your public speaking by believing in the content you’re presenting.
Test out different pre or post speech rituals that help ground you in your presenting mindset - wear your favorite socks, take a drink of water, recite a mantra, say a prayer, or listen to Lose Yourself.
Wear an outfit that you feel confident in. When you feel good in what you’re wearing that will translate to your demeanor.
Take care of yourself the night before. Eat a healthy dinner, refrain from drugs or alcohol use, and get a good night’s sleep.
Take the Risk to Speak:
Consider dipping your toes into less stressful types of public speaking - if a presentation to your team terrifies you, see whether you are more comfortable leading a group of volunteers at an event, or offering a toast during dinner with your loved ones plus a few extra guests. Some people find presenting virtually less stressful than in person - see if you can sign up for a virtual presentation, public speaking course, or other engagement.
Embrace opportunities to speak. Volunteer for presentations, sign up for toasts, or start posting short reels.
Don't give up - you may have plenty of opportunities to speak across your life’s span, from professional to personal to communal environments, or even on social media. Persistency and consistency will help you continue to develop your skill and build self-confidence.
Consider how your body language is impacting your presentation - are you shying away from the audience or hiding behind a podium? Your audience equates your competence with their perceptions of your confidence.
Don’t miss your chance to speak and treat the opportunity to communicate to the listener as a privilege.
Give Yourself the Chance to Learn and Develop Your Speaking Skill:
Reframe the anxiety as being excited about what you have to say! This is one of my favorite strategies. When I think about moments in my life when I’m most excited, I notice my heart rate increase, my palms getting sweaty, and the energy in my arms and legs. Those coincidentally are symptoms of anxiety. If you notice a physical manifestation of your fear of public speaking, try embracing it as excitement rather than nerves.
Find a speaker you admire and watch their presentations analytically - how do they open; do they use a lot of humor, what about their volume, tone or pacing? What do you like or dislike about their style? What can you learn and adopt into your own style?
Don’t try to adopt a style that’s unnatural for you - if you are more jovial, then lean into the friendliness of your attitude. If you tend to be more serious, try to sprinkle in jokes but don’t attempt to be a comedian - at least not until you feel more comfortable.
Remember that in most cases, your audience wants you to do a good job - very few people want to listen to a boring speech or presentation - so the room is on your side.
Join an organization that supports development for public speaking skills. Connect to your local Toastmasters chapter, join an improv comedy club, sign up to share at an open mic event.
Sure, Eminem sings, “you’ve only got one shot, do not miss your chance,” but reality is that you’ll likely have another opportunity to speak down the road. Give yourself grace to learn from your successes and opportunities for growth.
When you recognize that doing something causes you to feel fear or anxiety, and you choose to do that thing despite your fear, you’re choosing to act courageously. Words are powerful and few things happen without communication. Practice and prepare, take the risk, and give yourself the chance to learn and grow.
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AI Disclaimer: This post is original and written by Kevin Boyd of Future Full of Hope, PLLC. No AI tool was leveraged in the development of this post
